I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
