dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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