But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
