Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it glows. i had to have it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
