have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
