I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
