apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
