yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
