how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
your room smells of hookers.
And success
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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