i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
