maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
