She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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