remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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