but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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