Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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