your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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