I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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