Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
