i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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