My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I love you. Go after that dick
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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