Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
