Princesses don't give blow jobs
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
