Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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