We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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