I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
