Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
