I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
