I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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