but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
