Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
