She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
