She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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