if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
