Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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