Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
