was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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