She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
bring money and cleavage
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
