Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
