if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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