shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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