Say something about gay babies.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
