Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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