Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
