At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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