I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
