i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
