WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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