I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
