remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
