its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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